Go Away InuYasha
by Esk42
Summary: AU InuYasha and Kagome have both made decisions about their futures. Now can they live with them? OneShot


**Go Away InuYasha**

Kagome clung to the figure in front of her, leaning forward against the pull of the bike. Her head rested on the strong back, arms wrapped around a warm body. The tears threatened to spill again as the scent of him embraced her. It wasn't his. Not her hanyou's.

The miko watched as the city's night lights flashed by her. They were going so fast; almost fast enough to leave the pain behind. Almost.

So much for not crying.

The scene she had witnessed just minutes ago burned in her mind.

* * *

_ InuYasha and Kikyo had their arms around each other, the ground opening beneath them. Any tears that had fallen then were instantly dried by the blast of heat that came from the rift. InuYasha glanced up just once, getting a clear view of Kagome's pain-stricken face as it glowed orange and red from the flames that encircled him and the dead priestess. He silently mouthed the words, "I'm sorry."_

_- Then they were gone.

* * *

_

She had known all along that he could never stay with her, that he was duty-bound to Kikyo. They had made each other a pledge, one not easily broken. Secretly, in her heart, Kagome realized that if he _had_ chosen her, she would have carried a small amount of guilt the rest of her life. And he would have resented her.

Knowing all of this didn't make any of it any easier.

Kagome forced herself to quiet her sobs, and sucked in the evening air like she was drowning. She could taste it. Cool, damp, heavy. Everything felt deeper, the tang of chill causing her to press against her savior for warmth. A clawed hand covered her small ones momentarily, an assurance that he understood her emotions.

Mere moments had passed from the time she watched her first love disappear to where she was now, flying through the streets of downtown Tokyo. She hadn't even had time to fall to her knees before she felt herself being pulled into a strong pair of arms. Concern and anger filled the eyes that met hers, his face registering momentarily before she gave way to tears. She felt a helmet being pressed into her hands and didn't even have time to squeak a protest before she found herself on the back of a crotch rocket.

She swallowed, following the silent command to put her arms around him, and interlaced her fingers with the material of his t-shirt, brushing the flesh beneath it before they sped off.

He was respecting her need for silence, solitude without abandonment. She couldn't be alone right now, would never be alone again if he had anything to say about it. He had waited for her for years, sometimes patiently, other times not so patiently. But he had waited, wanting to know her true decision. Now that decision had been made for her and it was breaking her. A rumble started somewhere deep in his chest as he growled his frustration. He had known all along that there would be heartache, but he would have given anything to keep it from her.

He felt her small body lean into his as he took a turn, heading away from the eyes of the city. The salt and sound of her tears had ceased, and the grief pouring from her was not so overwhelming. She was coming to terms with InuYasha's decision.

They rode for several more minutes, weaving in and out of the worst of the traffic, and he smiled slightly. She needed him, and he needed her. Isn't that the way it was supposed to be? She would understand, she would realize that all along, for all these years, it was him the entire time. The one who would give anything for her to be happy, even if it meant letting her go. That was one thing the hanyou could never fully grasp. His love had been selfish, wanting both the incarnate and reincarnate. Not seeing that they were too different.

But time had honored his decision to stand back, and now he had his chance. He turned the bike again, the silver of it's body gleaming in the last of the street lights. They were headed for the mountains. The smells of the metropolis faded and made their own more prominent. Finding that she was brave enough, she let his scent envelope her again. Earthy. Not the dirt and clay smell of her incarnate. He smelled of mountains, waterfalls, trees, and wildlife. He smelled of nature. Rugged and _safe_. Warmth pooled in the pit of Kagome's stomach and tingled up her spine as she picked apart his essence, identifying each characteristic. It soothed over her senses, calming her frayed nerves.

He had never been able to pinpoint her scent. It was what drew him to her in the first place. The mystery of it. It was fresh and dark, warm and tangy, and it was driving him crazy.

Both demon and ningen leaned into the incline as the catlike vehicle climbed up the mountain road. They had the world to themselves, and felt a release from emotions at the freedom of it. Neither of them had to think about anything if they didn't want to. They could feel the tires gripping the blacktop beneath them, the wind whipping at them, the stars growing closer. The warmth of the mountain wrapped around them as they sped around it, only slowing when the turns became sharper and sharper. Finally, they had come full circle, and he rolled to a stop. The city laid itself out below them, a blanket of neon, fluorescent, and sodium jewels.

Kagome climbed off the bike, divesting herself of her helmet, and walked to the railing at the side of the road. The storm of emotions returned as she felt the demon presence approaching behind her. She held up one delicate hand and he stopped, allowing her privacy. That hand had begun to tremble as she bit back another onslaught of sobs. Shaking fingers reached for the locket around her neck. It was the one she had given him. She opened it, seeing their faces contorted in anger.

* * *

_ It had been hanging on her dresser mirror, dangling over an envelope marked simply **"Kagome"**. She didn't even have to read it. She grabbed the pendant and quickly latched it around her throat as she ran out the door of their apartment, snatching the keys and her cellular on the way. The fact that the Shikon jewel was gone didn't fail to register in her mind. She punched buttons on the phone as she climbed into the seat of her car. The phone collided with the passenger-side window when the call went straight to voicemail. "Keh, spill it." She cursed the stupid car as it took its time sputtering to life._

_ She knew where he was going, had known all along it would happen this way. But she was going to stop it if she could. She gunned the engine, and pointed the old Honda in the direction of the park. It was where they always met, her hanyou and the dead girl. Even now, as InuYasha was being taken from her, she couldn't bring herself to hate Kikyo. The woman was hurting, deceived, betrayed, used, and abandoned. Yeah, Kagome could identify with that._

_ She jerked the wheel and slammed on the brakes, sliding into a parking space. Not even bothering to kill the engine, she flew out of the vehicle, legs pumping as she ran to the stream that flowed through the center of the park. If she could just reason with him, yell at him, make him stay a little longer. Not forever, just longer._

_ But it was too late. She rounded the corner, lungs heaving, and froze._

_ They were already disappearing, taking the jewel of four souls with them. There was nothing she could do._

_ Just an "I'm sorry."_

_ And it was over. .

* * *

_

Kagome's willpower shattered. A sob wrenched itself past the lump in her throat. She ripped the locket from her, snapping the chain in half. The sob turned to a primal scream, sending chills racing up the spine of the demon that stood a few yards behind her. She backed away from the railing a few steps, cocking her fist behind her. Using those few steps as added force, Kagome threw the locket over the edge of the cliff as hard as she could, her scream not ending until it was out of sight. Her knees gave way, and she sat on her haunches, forehead resting on the hands that held the railing. Her sobs shook her slight frame, a heart-rending sound escaping her chest, an animal cry.

Kouga could take no more of it. He closed the distance between them with a startling speed, sitting beside her and scooping her into his arms as if she weighed no more than a child. He settled her in his lap, resting her ear directly over his heart, his chin on her forehead. The sound of his murmuring reached her through her cries while he held her firmly with one arm and smoothed his claws through her hair with the other, trying to comfort her in the only way he knew how.

He knew she needed this. To let these emotions run their course; let them do with her what they will. The moment you try to control them, they control you. And so he never tried to stop her from crying, only to keep her from feeling alone. He would wait for her. He had waited for years. What were a few more minutes?

Time ceased to exist for the broken miko. . She cried until she was drained, until she didn't have any more tears. And then she listened. Through the worst of it, he had never stopped talking to her. Well, not actually talking, as he wasn't using words. It actually felt like he was growling at her. If he wasn't a wolf demon she could have sworn he was purring. A small smile curved her lips and she sighed.

He was so possessive. From the very moment they had met, Kouga had pronounced him claim over her. It had turned her off to him completely, that old-fashioned attitude of dominance and control that she loathed. But it didn't fit. Through it all he had never forced her to be with him. He had watched from a distance as the relationship between her and InuYasha developed. Occasionally intervening and proclaiming his love for her, but always allowing her to make her choice. Now she knew how it must have felt for him. She finally understood that InuYasha had been the possessive one. Always demanding to know where she was going, prying into her personal affairs, insisting that he go everywhere with her. Yes, she knew he was protecting her, but hadn't Kouga done that from a distance without invading her privacy?

Her eyes widened in realization. All this time she had been waiting for InuYasha to love her the way Kouga already did. And had always told her he did. Kouga would hide fear, anger, defeat, and confusion, but never once did he mask his feelings for her the way InuYasha would do. She let this thought circle her mind, the way a wine lover would mull a new vintage around in his mouth. It was. . . unique. The knowledge of never having to wonder if someone truly loved her.

The steady beating of his heart reached her. Strong, safe. She stiffened in his arms, pulling away slightly and his heart dropped. She still doesn't know? He prepared to lift her and set her on her feet, and she gripped his open leather jacket on either side. When they were both standing, he waited, an arm still around her, to see what she would do, what she wanted. Her brown eyes met his blue. She sniffed rather noisily, trying to rid herself of any evidence of tears. Her mind was screaming at her to leave the circle of his arms, but she couldn't. Not now that she knew how warm they were, and how cold it was out in the world. She never wanted to be cold again. A knuckle belonging to his free hand traced her cheek, wiping away the last traces of moisture. He could barely swallow with her this close; his mouth was so dry. His gaze fell to her lips, his head lowering towards hers on instinct. He sensed her hesitation and held perfectly still, not even daring to breathe, the moment was so fragile. He was mere inches from her face, their breaths already mingling as he looked back into her eyes. She needed to make this decision. She needed something else from him.

She studied him for a moment. He was the same Kouga that embarrassed her at every turn by making loud proclamations of love, the same messy bangs that fell over his blue eyes, the same high ponytail, the same fang-tipped grin. She searched his gaze, biting her bottom lip. She knew this was too fast. She knew she would still mourn InuYasha, but in Kouga's eyes she read eternity. He wouldn't be going anywhere, he would love her until her dying day, and he was right in front of her. Very much in front of her.

Taking a shaky breath, she weighed the possibilities, measured the consequences. .

- And closed the gap between their mouths.

The kiss started out slow, tentative. "Different from kissing InuYasha." She thought. "No. . go away InuYasha." She curled an arm under his, looping it around his back to grip his shoulder, the other hand resting on his heart.

It took him a moment to realize she had made her choice.

He bent his knees slightly, deepening the kiss while wrapping his arms around her tighter. Their tongues met. Straightening his legs and back, he now lifted her clear off the ground, only the tips of her toes registering the fact that she wasn't actually flying. They took their time, learning each other's mouths, tasting each other's souls, never rushing the sweetness of the moment. The kiss didn't become hungry, or greedy. It was easy, comforting, promising. It went on forever. .

It was he who pulled away, setting her on her feet once again, staring at her swollen lips in amazement as she fought to catch her breath. She slid the hand resting on his chest up to his chin, never breaking contact with him, and lifted his gaze to hers. She stood on tiptoe and kissed his forehead in thanks, and threw her arms around his neck, burying her nose in his throat, gulping in the scent of him.

Kouga simply stood there, still trying to swallow. He wasn't dreaming. He began to trail his claws along her spine, smiling at the shivers the action caused in her.

No one knew how long they stayed like that, his nose in her hair, inhaling her essence just as she was doing. Dawn was starting to lighten the sky to the east, the city below them was awakening, reminding them that that another day was starting, and now there was a future to think about. Decisions to be made. But for now, they had made enough decisions. For now they would enjoy this moment.

When they finally turned the bike around and headed back down the mountain, Kouga drove slowly enough to keep one hand constantly on Kagome's. . .

It was a very long ride.

* * *

_A/N:_ When I wrote this, I was playing "As the Rush Comes" by Motorcylce Boy. It always put me in mind of a midnight cruise with someone you cared about. I hope you like it. I mainly wrote this when I was having major writer's block for my story, "Child's Play" 

Well, _ja ne_.


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